I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
one might say we're banned from that church
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
