hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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