i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
