I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
