just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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