WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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