woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
