Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
