Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
