Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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