Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Randomize
