Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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