Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
