the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
