How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is wine microwaveable?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
