I'm eating all of the evidence.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
