And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
