Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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