I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
