i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
