By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize