I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My penis needs a shock collar
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
