Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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