This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
