id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
