i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
