Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize