If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
