I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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