How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
