I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is Oprah even human
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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