I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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