The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
