You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
