I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
