are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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