Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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