BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have feelings that need drinking.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
