Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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