So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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