please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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