I just cut my nipple shaving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
