Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
