so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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