dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
