found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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