Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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