Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
