Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So vagazzling was a success
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
