You made me cry and you don't even care
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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