Yo dont text me then not text me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize