i barfeds in our rink
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize