Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
