Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
