Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
