Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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