Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
