There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
