The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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