I am puke
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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