Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
