Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
