That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
