Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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