if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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