im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
